Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.  ~ Confucius

As much as the media wants us to believe there is a single definition of beauty, it is simply not true. But knowing it’s not true in your mind and believing it in your body, in your heart…that’s a bit more difficult.

So, let’s all try to set aside our media programming and see the variety of beauty in the world. Let’s start simple.

My favorite animal is the manatee. Most people think they are ugly creatures. I think they are so sweet and cute. They are so unique and kind. Did you know that manatees have their mammary glands in their arm pits? Did you know that they have no natural enemies? Motor blades were the reason they almost reached extinction. In general, they are floating vegan pacifist just wanting to find warm waters to play in. Manatees aren’t for everyone, but I love them.

My favorite actor is Robin Williams. Many people look at him and see an extremely obnoxious and extremely hairy man. I see a man with kind eyes and a brilliant mind. I see a man with strengths and flaws just like the rest of us. I see a man who wanted to make people laugh and loved to laugh himself. I see a man who could show a genuine tenderness on-screen that was precious to see. Robin Williams wasn’t for everyone, but he was my favorite.

I think bald men are attractive. Media and advertisements tell me I should only find men with a thick head of hair attractive. Media and advertisements tell me that bald men are lesser than men with hair. I say BS to that line of thinking! Look at Patrick Stewart, Bruce Willis, and John Malkovich. Okay, well, maybe you won’t agree with me on John Malkovich, but again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I married a bald man and I’m so in love with him. I’ve had friends ask me, “You’ve got to explain to me the bald thing because I just don’t get it.” How can I explain it to them? It’s how I see the world, not them.

And that is the point, isn’t it? We all see the world in different ways. I think the desert is ugly and have no desire in any way to visit one. But some people love the desert. They want to bask in the beauty of it. They could try to explain it to me, but it wouldn’t change my view.

We see beauty in the world where we want to see it. And everyone is different. Do we all agree on that as truth? Good. Now let’s spin that truth in another direction.

If we choose to see beauty where we want to see it, then it is up to us to see the beauty in ourselves. You are beautiful. You may not be beautiful to the person who finds beauty in the desert, but you are beautiful to the person who finds beauty in the ocean. You are beautiful.

No, you aren’t perfect, but neither is the desert, or the ocean, or a manatee, or John Malkovich. And here’s another truth – you never will be. No matter how much you work out and how many surgeries you have and how much you study to be the smartest person in the room, you will never be perfect. But I can promise you are beautiful.

Did you hear that? I promise. You are beautiful.

Just today, I was told of a woman who never thought she was pretty. When I met this woman, I thought she was beautiful. I thought she held herself with confidence and grace. I was stunned to learn she looked in the mirror and thought she wasn’t pretty.  

It’s a travesty, really. It is a travesty how much we all look in the mirror and not see our beauty.

It reminds me of this scene from Dumplin’ where Will is confronted with the reality that it is her own self that believes she is not beautiful. Click here to watch this heartbreaking scene from Dumplin’. If you haven’t watched this movie on Netflix, definitely do so. It is a wonderful movie. Click here to see the trailer.

I think if we could just see ourselves the way our loved ones see us a light bulb would go off and we would have an instant “Aha!” moment. We would look in the mirror and truly feel in our heart, “I am beautiful. I am special. I am precious.”

So, please, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror and try not to compare yourself to a movie star. Instead, ask yourself, “Am I a desert, or am I a forest?” Well, maybe that’s a bit much, but you get the idea. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What makes me beautiful? What makes me special? What do I love about myself? What am I proud of?” All of these things are inside of you. All of them come together to create your beauty in the eye of your beholder. And first and foremost, that beholder needs to be you.

P.S. To find photos for this blog, I went to I typed in “woman.” I proceeded to scroll through page after page of “model” beautiful women. It was unbelievably boring. Revel in your unique beauty. Seriously!

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I am a yoga and meditation teacher, energy healer and I teach Enneagram workshops. I'm here to help people grow and find their true selves.

2 Comments on “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

  1. Ah, Heather. Another wonderful blog.

    I loved “Dumplin” when I saw it last year and have recommended it to many people – men and women alike. We all see ourselves through a prism of life experience and self-love/self-hatred/self-doubt.

    Let’s hope that we can all start seeing the beauty in ourselves – in all regards. Peace out.

    • Dumplin’ is awesome! Every person I have recommended it to has loved it. I even had someone ask yesterday, “Do you have any more movie recommendations like Dumplin’? I’m glad you liked the blog!

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