I have always believed that, when you “think” you have learned a life lesson, the Universe tests you. I often see friends and clients get mad, shaking their fists at the sky saying, “I already learned this lesson? Why are you sending this problem to me again?” Why? Because the Universe always gives you a final exam. You know, just to be absolutely sure you learned the lesson. There is a second option for the need of a test. Maybe there is another angle or aspect of that lesson you haven’t learned. So no, maybe you haven’t learned your lesson. Hence, the test.
My best example of this is through dating. Time and again, as I learned to date better men, the Universe would send me a test. Say, for example, this guy I met in a bar. I met this guy in a bar, which should have been my first red flag that this was a test because I NEVER meet men in bars. He was attractive and we got along fine. He asked for my number, so I gave it to him. And he called the next day, asking for a date. I said, “Sure, where do you want to meet?”
He said he didn’t have a license. It got taken away from driving too fast, so I’d have to pick him up. Red Flag #1. I asked for his birthday so I could look him up in my “Love Cards” book. He was the same card as every other guy I had been dating. Seriously. It was creepy. Red Flag #2. So I picked him up at his home. It was a “dude” apartment that he lived in with some other “dude” guys. Red flag #3.
We went to a restaurant that was one of my favorites in the area. Conversation was okay. We went back to his “dude” house. His roommates/friends were gathered around the TV playing a video game. The air smelled of weed and there was a bong on the coffee table. The furniture was obviously bought at a second-hand store for its cheapness rather than style or comfort.
My date and I stood there talking to his “dude” friends who didn’t respond. I finally said, “You guys know we’re here, right?” They all nodded in unison. And that’s when I knew. That’s when it hit me: “I’ve been here before.”
This was a scene right out of my college days. When I walked into the house of my college buddies, they would be gathered around the TV playing a sports video game. There would be a bong or some type of marijuana pipe on the coffee table, as well as beer and take-out food boxes. Whoever was sitting in the sofa chair closest to the TV I knew had won the last game and was in the “Winners” seat. There is nothing wrong with any of this. I think very fondly of that time in my life. I had many laughs and good times with my college buddies. What was wrong was that I had already “been there, done that.” I had moved on. And I didn’t want to go back.
As he walked me to my car, he had his arm around me and he said, “I think this went well. We should do this again.” My very first thought was, “Oh Hell No!”
For once in my life, I didn’t back down from confrontation. I said, “I don’t think so.” I don’t remember what I said after that, but I made it clear that I wasn’t interested.
Here’s the funny thing. He asked me to call him when I got home so he knew I got there safe. I thought this was a very kind thing to do. So, when I got home, I called. He curtly said, “Okay” and hung up. I guess he got the last word. Jerk.
But you see what I mean by the Universe testing you. I passed that test. And my guardian angels looked down on that scene and said, “Huh. Guess she isn’t going to put up with that anymore. Guess we need to send her something better. Seriously, I’ve seen it time and time again. And each time, the guy the Universe sends you gets better.
I’ve been tested in many other ways. Money is a big one. Learning how to handle credit cards has been a HUGE challenge. I think I’ve almost got it. I’ve racked up credit card debt a couple of times in my life. And each time I swear off using credit cards because I “can’t handle it.” Each time I broke the credit card seal, I would be $5000 in debt or more before I knew it. With the help of my husband, I have been learning how to use a credit card appropriately. I’m still white-knuckling it. I’m still scared every single month that I won’t be able to pay it off. Even as I type this, I’m starting to feel panicked about it. I’m slowly learning. And the Universe is testing me again and again. One day, I’ll look confidently at it just as I looked confidently at the dude date and say, “No, I don’t think so.”
So, don’t get frustrated when the same problems occur. Take a step back and say to yourself, “What lesson am I missing? What am I not understanding?” Once you figure it out and implement the lesson, I promise your life will change right before your eyes. And the next time that problem comes up, you will be able to look at it confidently in the eye and say, “Oh hell no…”
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